I have let myself go

I have. My course (now over, thank GOD) is over. Exams and revision and strrress and celebrating took its toll.

I now weigh approx 140 pounds. FUCK! How the hell can I gain that much? How can I gain so much without there being a medical problem (I checked. My thyroid is fine. I was hoping for the underactive thyroid so much, as wrong as that is)? How can I gain so much when I can't eat wheat and don't drink alcohol? I will weigh in properly tomorrow morning and gain some measurements.


I hate this. I hate it. Hence return. I don't know how much I will be able to blog. But I need to become accountable. I've been counting calories. Apparently 1500 per day does nothing for me. This weekend will be a struggle (afternoon tea tomorrow with a group and then a roast on Sunday. Thankfully I can avoid gravy and yorkshire puddings due to wheat and I shall just not have roast potatoes). Then I am off for a week and then bam. I have a month before going travelling. I shall lose then, for sure, btu I don't want to be a fatty before I go.



What I need is for food to cease mattering. For it to become a fuel, to not be a "treat". For me to stop when I am full. I can do this, I've done it before.